Thursday, November 5, 2009

Flattery




“I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean”----Lady Windemere, from "Lady Windemere's Fan" --Oscar Wilde

I picked up a book of Oscar Wilde's plays recently, and this line met my eyes. It was one of those "lightbulb moments," as my acting teacher would dub them. That exact same thought had been floating through my mind recently, but obviously, not phrased half so eloquently or cleverly.
When someone pays you a compliment that they genuinely mean, it's worth the world. But, someone who flatters constantly gets annoying and sickening. It's like being fed cake everyday-you can't grow and thrive on it. There's no substance to their words. Although at first it's exciting and thrilling, eventually, you realize how empty and dull the words actually are.
It's so, so easy to tell someone that you love them. To tell them that they're the most beautiful creature in the world. But when it comes down to it, you have to prove your love in the little, everyday actions that you do. Actions speak louder than words.
I was watching a movie recently, and I can't remember what it was, but I remember thinking: "It's so easy to say 'I'd die for you.'" But, what really proves someone's love is the dying to yourself every single day-sacrificing your little desires for the other's good. That's love. It's heroic-but not in an ostentatious way.

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